Stop Being a Positivity Hoarder: 9 Ways to Spread the Love

I posted a video on Instagram TV earlier this year about how to cultivate positivity in your life and it got so much positive (pun intended) feedback that I knew I had to create more content surrounding this topic – thus 5 x 5 with Lunden Souza Positively Productive was born.

In this posting, I’ll have you know I am talking to myself in a way that I feel would also be beneficial for you all reading this as well. It’s not my intention to take you on an emotional rollercoaster ride with me, but I definitely want to share with you guys the REALNESS and how it’s totally possible to recognize, own it and grow – multiple times over.

So in this Instagram TV video, I talked about going out, spreading the positive vibes and giving the world what you somehow feel like you’re lacking in the moment. Simply put: If you’re feeling down – go out and make people feel good…it’s contagious. It’s easy to seclude yourself and mope in your sorrows, it’s a challenge to buckle down and go make a difference (big or small) in someone else’s life when you just don’t feel like it. But…who’s ever succeeded by taking the “easy” way?

What happens when I feel overwhelmed & stressed?

Reviving my own business this year has been an absolute blessing and one of the most miraculous insights into new realms of my personality and capabilities. That’s my poetic way of saying that there are days when I literally want to rip my hair out as well as days when I am so impressed by my ability to figure things out. Nonetheless, it’s a constant “dance” staying positive and focused on the big picture – which has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the people I am serving.

One of the things that I’ve realized about myself is that when things are mentally stressful I become a hermit and kind of seclude myself in a way. Picture me in my PJ’s in a grungy position on the couch with a permanent bitch face staring at my computer. Attractive and inviting, right? :p

Call you OUT and call you IN!

But something that really spoke to me was a birthday message I got on my 30th birthday from my friend Aubrie Pohl, who I was blessed enough to co-coach with in Costa Rica at our Warrior Women Retreat, which essentially said, “You have such a selfless demeanor…I learned so much about giving from you.” And I am not repeating this to “toot my own horn” but to highlight the importance of powerful people in your life who you can truly be yourself in front of and who you can trust not only to call you out on your shit, but call you IN to remind you of the spiritual gifts you have so you can wake them the f*ck up and use them. Which oddly enough was #3 of the 20 things I learned in my 20s was all about.

So I took some time to reflect and asked myself: When I am feeling in a place of overwhelm and “not-enoughness”, why am I hoarding this love that others have seen me let out? I don’t want to be a love and positive-energy hoarder just because at the moment I feel like I need it more than I need to give it…but the way I have been acting is kind of reflecting that…OWNING IT!

When I am selfless, I am most myself…

Additionally, I had an “aha” moment during my meditation some days ago when the centering thought was, “When I am selfless, I am most myself.” I HAVE to give these gifts or that energy becomes stagnant, piled up and useless like the junk you see piled up on tables on the show Hoarders.

And because I am a list junky and it helps me sort out my thoughts and actions, I made a list of the ways I can show love when I am just feeling a bit “meh”.

9 ways to spread love & positive vibes today

  1. Say “I love you”: Call or write someone you love and tell them that you love them.
  2. List your blessings: Take out a piece of paper and write down you’re blessings. I know, I know – this one might feel a bit played out BUT IT WORKS.
  3. Show love with time: Give time to someone who you know needs it even when it feels like you don’t have any left
  4. Smile!: Go for a walk and smile at everyone you walk past (You’ll end up laughing because some of the reactions you’ll get from people are quite funny)
  5. Make something for someone: Cook or bake something for your neighbor or your partner. Cooking isn’t your thing? Write a letter or make a DIY scrub for someone you know would love it.
  6. Make it about someone else: Call that friend that’s always there for you and ask about THEM
  7. Bring your A-game: Go the extra mile for a colleague or someone on your team
  8. Drop the phone & focus: Actually look at the person and LISTEN when you’re talking with them. Get off your phone and look them in the eye.
  9. Just listen: You don’t always have to have the answer to solve their problems and not everyone needs a motivational pep talk. Sometimes they just want to talk and holding space for them is completely enough. This is a big one that I am working on because when someone tells me something they are going through, I always want to help them fix it. That’s my masculine side for sure.

And as a final note, I must make it clear that it’s important to let ourselves feel this way at times…but not marinade in it. We need to recognize when we are not feeling our bests so we can stop, get our mindset in order and change directions. But most importantly, feeling sorry for ourselves is such a waste of time. There are people in this world who need our gifts to come alive!