Lunden is joined again on the podcast by her Life Coach & NLP Coach, Scott Gates, talking all about being kind to yourself and extending it to others as well. Scott has been Lunden’s coach for the last 5-6 years and in this episode they talk about great stuff like: What does it mean to embody kindness? What does it mean to be kind to ourselves? What is our kindness language? How can we be a part of the kindness ripple?
As usual, there isn’t a dull moment in conversation between these two and, while the full conversation was over an hour, here are the 4 main takeaways from this episode:
Being kind to yourself and others >> 4 Key points from this episode
1. Kindness starts with ourself
Extending that kindness, that gratitude, that grace for yourself first. Ask yourself what it means to be kind, what kindness means to you and actually be kind to yourself first so that you can give it to others. We’ve probably heard that said in different ways, filling up your cup first, putting on your oxygen mask first. But that’s really what it’s all about.
2. Kindness is not a transaction
We have to be willing to be kind to others without expecting anything in return. It’s not, “I did this for you, so you have to do this for me.” It’s more about getting clear in your core values and being congruent with how you want to be and show up in the world. Once you decide that kindness is part of who you are, you’ll do it without any need for recognition and when nobody is looking.
3. Being the kindness and seeing the kindness
It really is a mixture of going out in the trenches and being kind to others AND looking up from our phones, opening our eyes, getting out of our to-do list, go-go-go mindset and becoming aware of the kind acts that are happening all around us. If you think people are selfish, rude, unkind, evil, etc….you’re going to see more of those people. Start looking for the kindness in the world as a confirmation that it absolutely does exist.
4. What’s your kindness language?
In this episode, Lunden shares about a time when Scott and some other coaches were on a mastermind trip and Scott wanted to carry all the bags in from the truck. Lunden’s autopilot response was, “It’s okay…I got it.” And Scott reminded her that, “This type of stuff allows me to be the man I want to be.” To this day, Lunden still thinks about this moment where she clearly wasn’t receiving the kindness and at the same time didn’t even slow down enough to realize the kindness in Scott’s actions. Learning your own and the kindness language of others close to you can be a fun way to give customized kindness 😉