In this episode of Self Love & Sweat THE PODCAST I share the importance of bringing awareness to how we talk to ourselves when it comes to reaching our goals. You’re not going to WIN and feel amazing if you keep telling yourself, “I am so lazy…” “Today is such a stressful day…” Tune in to this episode to find out how you can change your world with the power of your words.
EPISODE #60 CHANGE YOUR WORDS, CHANGE YOUR WORLD (FULL TRANSCRIPTION)
Lunden Souza: [00:00:00] Hey, friends, today we’re going to talk all about how changing your words and the way that you talk to yourself, what’s going on between your ears and how that can change your world? Ok? And I think that we’ve all experienced that in one form or another, where we change our words a little bit, shift our perspective a little bit, see the grass as greener a little bit and got a glimpse, a little bit of how that can be impactful. Or maybe you’ve seen a person where you’re like, this person seems super happy, super alive and vibrant and like they are, you know, maybe saying all these annoying things about how amazing life is and all this kind of stuff. And I think that we can all kind of have some sort of glimpse or understanding in what I say and what I mean when I say what I mean, when I say, change your words, change your world. This is a major, major, major one, and this is something that I think should be revisited on a regular basis. I find myself even now. I’ve been doing a lot of this reframing work, changing my words, changing my world, changing my reality based on how I perceive it. Like, I’ve been doing this work regularly for a little over three years, and I still find myself some old narratives coming up. Or some I wouldn’t even say old ones, but once I didn’t notice yet ones where I was like, Oh yeah, like, you really beat yourself up in that area or you really like, talk down to yourself or you say that repeated pattern and phrase a lot and like, Is that serving you? You know, so I feel like this is a continuous work.
Lunden Souza: [00:01:43] This is not here to call you out on all the things that you say and how you should be reframing them now and how whatever. It’s just that. It’s a fun game and it’s a fun process when you choose to have fun with it, especially when you choose to have fun with it. While knowing the significance and the importance of your words and what you say, right? If you keep talking about how you’re like from the beginning, from the morning, right, when you start your morning, do you start your day? Oh, I’m so tired. I have so much going on. I have so many meetings. My life is so busy. I know I’m already going to be late. I know I’m already going to be tired. I know my coworker and this person’s already going to be annoying. Like all this story we create, right? And if we choose in the morning to wake up and be grateful, put our feet on the ground. I am alive. I am ready to serve. I know the impact that moving my physical body and rising and shining has on my emotions and my vibes. And even if I don’t feel like getting up and doing the thing, I’m going to do it because I can.
Lunden Souza: [00:02:42] Ok, like that is some powerful stuff right there, and it might just be like, OK, London. Like, who really does that? No, I do that. You should really have a morning routine that incorporates talking up to yourself, right? Change your words. Change your world like rise and shine. Wake up. I’m alive. I am ready to serve like I can breathe. You know, there’s people around me that love me. I have a roof over my head like, Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Sometimes in the morning when I find that things are creeping up into my brain that I don’t think belong there at that time, right? I’m like, Nope, I just repeat, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So thankful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And sometimes I’ll add in. I’m so thankful to be alive. I’m so thankful to be breathing. Thank you. Thank you to be able to put my feet on the ground. I’m so grateful, like just immense amount of gratitude and a lot of just repeating that word. Thank you. Like literally in your brain. If you’re thinking about all the things that you need to do and you just start repeating, Thank you, thank you, thank you. And just bringing immense gratitude, it’s going to bring some ease. If not, hopefully make you think about the rest of that stuff later and say no, like now is my time to kind of set my foundation on the rules and reigns for my brain, right? Dr.
Lunden Souza: [00:03:57] Joe depends who I absolutely love. I follow his work extensively. He calls it like taming the dog when it comes to meditation. Like, nope, sit, stay, stay, stay. But even when you’re when you’re taming that dog of those thoughts, it’s like no. Like, Reframe, Reframe, Reframe, you know, and I think anyone who’s ever trained a dog before a puppy or whatever, you see the power in that repetition and continuing to correct that behavior over and over and over again until it really just becomes like nonexistent. It’s not a part of of you anymore, you know, and I think that’s so, so, so powerful. Yeah, any time of day, really any time of day, you know, maybe you notice that you start spiraling into like negative thoughts and thought patterns, you know, leading into a certain meeting, whether it’s in person or on Zoom or leading up to a certain interaction. Maybe you notice it’s in the morning like I mentioned, maybe you notice it’s before you go to bed. Maybe you notice it’s all three, right? A lot of us have multiple moments in our lives where we go on autopilot and and all the things that. Our habit and routine, just like come back into play without really like catching it, saying like, Hey, like these are not the thoughts I want here.
Lunden Souza: [00:05:07] This is not the world and the perception I’m working to create, like, no, you are not welcome here identifying those moments in your day when you realize, Hey, that’s a moment when I really go down that rabbit hole. That’s a scenario when I really beat myself up. That’s a scenario when I just kind of like, Whoa, like, I’m a little bit of a bully to myself, you know, I kind of put myself down in that area and man, like, I need to be amping myself up. It’s no wonder I’m not feeling so great in that area. You know, I’m beating myself up all day long and not even allowing myself to kind of show up in that space. And so I think that’s really important is to think about, OK, no one is really that awareness of saying, hey, like, Oh yeah, I say that a lot. I really like say, I am lazy a lot. I really say, like, I am a procrastinator. A lot. I really say, like, I can’t do that a lot. I really say that I’m not good at that. A lot. It’s like if you keep telling yourself that you’re just going to reinforce that. And we have to understand that when we want to make changes in our lives, it can’t be reliant on things outside of ourselves, like people to change or circumstances to change, or all those things to change. Like we get the opportunity to change, you know, moment by moment, thought by thought.
Lunden Souza: [00:06:18] But it really is being as persistent as training a puppy. If you’ve ever done that before or, you know, disciplining a child and just really trying to guide it in that direction, you know, it’s like, Hey, no, you can’t do that. Can’t do that note back over here, back over here, back over here, back over here. And it might feel like you do that a million times. And then eventually that one gone and you’ve reframed that. And it’s different. And I think one of main examples, I use a lot and it’s been profound in my life. I even talked about it today, one of my coaching calls. But one of the words I used to say a lot was, I am busy, I am so busy. I am so busy, you know, like, sorry, I didn’t call you back. I’m super busy. Hey, what’s up? I just wanted to give you a call back. I’m super busy. I’m on my way to my next meeting like I’m super busy right now. My life is super busy. How are you super busy? Like my name is London. Super busy Susa. Like that was literally me. Like, I just found so much value in being busy and doing all the things, you know? And I decided that, you know, especially when I started coaching and getting more and more clients, it was like a lot of people were drowning and busy, and I was like, OK, like, I’m not going to do that.
Lunden Souza: [00:07:21] So what is going to be a reframe? And I decided to switch busy with full. And so now I say, yeah, I have a really full and abundant day. How was your day really full and abundant? A very full schedule, very full, very like filling, you know, abundant fullness. And that, for me makes me feel better and makes me show up better because I just love showing up to a full, abundant, full juicy day, right? Versus in a busy day that just sounds scattered. Full sounds more intentional, and I like to bring more attention to my day. And so maybe there’s a specific word that you say a lot, you know, like, I am a procrastinator, I am lazy, I am busy. I can’t, you know, and how can you just slightly reframe that I have a friend who uses the word nightmare a lot and will say certain things are nightmares. And one time I just kind of implanted blessing like, it’s a blessing. You know, it’s a nightmare. It’s a blessing, it’s a blessing, it’s a blessing. And it’s as simple as that. It’s as simple as just like picking that word. Once you once you have the awareness of it, you’ll start to notice it in yourself and others. Ok, but don’t be that person who notices it in everybody else and doesn’t point the finger back at you. Ok, like you do it to.
Lunden Souza: [00:08:32] There are words in ways that you can clean up your words, change your words, change your world. You’ll start to see that in other people and see that in yourself. And it can be as simple as that. Like, Hey, that word, I want to reframe that. I want to change that. I don’t want to be the busy person. I don’t want to be the lazy person. I don’t want to be the whatever label you’ve put on and understand that you have the power to change that, right? Like, maybe you did a lot of things that would put you in the lazy category, right? And you’re just like a lot of inaction. Ok, one moment of inaction or one moment of action against all these moments of inaction still make the opportunity or the possibility to not be lazy exist, right? So it’s like you’re not lazy unless you’re lazy all the time. But there could have been seasons or phases where you just had, yeah, you were lazier, maybe lower energy. Certain things were going on. Whatevs. But that doesn’t make that who you are. Ok, that doesn’t make you that. I think another important point to talk about when it comes to change your words and change your world. I’ve talked on this topic for a while. Change your words, change your world in different ways. You know, the ways we talk about things like this and motivation, consistency, whatever it’s like, those topics always exist, but it’s always evolving.
Lunden Souza: [00:09:42] You know this part? I recently did a video on IGTV about this because I feel like this is a big one when it comes to change your words, change your world. And it hasn’t been part of how I taught this. So this part is like new when it comes to how we use our words, and that’s going beyond being the person that is. Just fine air quotes, just fine, you know, how are you doing? Oh, I’m fine, I’m good, I’m just fine. Everything’s good, it’s good. How are you doing? Good. And I think that when we really want to transform our world through connection and relationships with other people, we have to go beyond the just find friends. The just fine conversations, the just fine responses, right? That doesn’t mean that you need to give the whole enchilada all the time. That doesn’t mean that when someone asks how you’re doing or you ask someone how they’re doing that, it’s like the turn on switch to talk about every single thing negative and horrible going on in your life. Yeah, if you need to vent and get things out, please do that. Get that out. Shake it out. All the things. It’s important to get that support, right, but it’s one thing to be like, OK, we just unload all the negative stuff and just remember, bring it together versus no, when we ask each other, Hey, how’s that going? How are you doing? Full permission to say, you know, yeah, things might not be fine or things might be super freaking great, right? Maybe you want to be like, things are great.
Lunden Souza: [00:11:01] I’m feeling good. Like, I’m feeling vibrant, I’m feeling alive, I’m losing weight, I’m feeling fit, I’m getting good sleep. You know, maybe I’m gaining weight, I’m gaining strength, I’m getting more muscle. Like, Oh, things are working, things are lining up. I’m so happy. You know, sometimes we hold back on that because we don’t want to make other people feel like we’re bragging or whatever, you know. And then sometimes it’s the other end, too, like, Hey, you know what? Things are not so great right now. Like, You know what? I’m blessed. Everyone’s healthy, but you know, I’m really struggling with this. You know, I’m really struggling with this certain situation that was making me feel a little bit like not a great leader. It made me feel a little bit like sticky and uncomfortable. I really had to kind of face the mirror in that situation to a shortcoming in my life, something I need to work on and like that was tough. Does that feel good to like, have those conversations with people that didn’t take me five hours that took me a few minutes of just kind of getting that out. And I think when we practice that, we practice that response a full permission of ownership of wins and also when things are kind of crappy, you know, you get to change your world because you get to start to bring a deeper truth in relationships and you get to start to bring those people closer to you and have people who come into your life that want to dig deeper and want to really know how you are.
Lunden Souza: [00:12:16] And don’t just ask because they think that’s what they’re supposed to do, right? Don’t just ask, does he think that’s the cordial thing to do? Yeah, you might be in the grocery store and you see someone or you’re walking and you see your neighbor. Hey, how are you doing? Oh, good, nice to see you. Whatever, there’s a time and place for some of those quick interactions. I’m not asking you to like sprint across the street to your neighbor walking the dog and like, No, really, how are you? But you know you’re in those situations with certain friends and people that you love and you’re just like, Hey, like, how’s it going? Or you might. You haven’t had a chance to catch up with them, but you know, certain things that might have happened in their life or vice versa. And it’s like, Hey, like, how’s it going? Yeah, I’m here for you. I want to hear. But if we want that from other people, we have to do that ourselves to which can be kind of sticky and uncomfortable. And there was some really powerful situations that presented themselves to me where I had an opportunity to share and to open up with some people that I really trusted and admire.
Lunden Souza: [00:13:08] Not only was I saying it to them because I just wanted to get it out, but I felt like it was landing on good ears and I knew that whatever feedback that they were going to give was fully welcomed. In fact, I wanted it. That’s why I was kind of putting that out there. And in the end, we just had a really nice synergy and dynamic of talking about situations that were kind of sticky and uncomfortable for us and how we felt kind of embarrassed and how we felt like, Oh, this is like a reminder that there might be some dust under certain rugs. We need to clean, and that’s cool. What initially sparked this change, your words change your world topic, which, like I said, I’ve talked on in a variety of different ways before, but what initially sparked this was when I was living in Austria, I had an amazing group of friends. I have an amazing group of friends. They still live in Austria and I’m back in America. I miss them dearly, but we would do escape rooms together. I don’t know if you guys have heard of escape rooms before. Let me know if you’ve heard of escape rooms. There are these rooms where you go in with your team and you escape a room. Whether it’s like you escape jail or you figure out the code to put out a bomb before it explodes or you figure out the cure to a sickness, there’s always like a challenge, something that you do in this escape room and you have like an hour to do it, or sometimes longer.
Lunden Souza: [00:14:17] But I had a group of friends and we did a ton of escape rooms like we were obsessed. They still do them regularly. We would do weekends like getaways and do like eight escape rooms, right? We would like totally go hardcore and you do like logic math, a bunch of like locks, just like different types of things, a problem solving all different types of problem solving that kind of relate to everybody’s kind of unique learning form. So some things are more like hands on some things are more visual, some things are more mathematics. Some things are more like fill in the blanks or look outside the box or Roman numerals or just whatever, right? So anyways, we go to we were in Salzburg, in Austria, and we go to do this escape room me, and there’s five of us in total. But it was actually, I think, three of us, including myself. So four of us at this actual escape room that we did in Salzburg and we go in and we were like the first people of the day, and I think we were a little bit late. Or maybe I don’t remember the first people were a little bit late. So I think that’s what happened.
Lunden Souza: [00:15:11] The first people were a little bit late. We were a little bit late, but it was no problem because the first people were a little bit late, right? So we were going to be like a little bit behind anyways. So anyways, the lady there, she’s like, Oh my gosh, it’s going to be the worst day ever. Like, I swear I’m not exaggerating anybody that is in my escape room team, Alex Stephanie says. Being like, You can vouch for me, this girl, Lisa wasn’t there. You weren’t there that day, but I probably told you the story, but this girl literally was like, This is going to be the worst day ever. Oh my gosh. When the first group is late, that makes the whole day horrible. Like straight up, just shooting like horrible bombs everywhere. It wasn’t even like, Oh yeah, it kind of sucks today that everybody’s late, you know, I’m like, OK, positive side. No, she was literally like, Today’s going to suck. It’s going to be horrible. Mind you, it was like eight o’clock in the morning, like it was really early, like it was eight nine o’clock in the morning. We had just gotten coffee. It was like a crisp morning, like it was like full on fresh day. She was like putting on fresh negative socks, right? So I just remember sitting there like. In shock, you know, just like, OK, hold your horses, you know, whatever and my friends are there, they know what I do, right? Like they know that I’m a life coach and I’m committed to the positive lifestyle, and I’m always focusing on changing your words, changing your world.
Lunden Souza: [00:16:24] And and it was funny because they’re like looking at me and I’m looking at her and I’m just kind of like, Yeah, but it could, you know, it might not be that bad, you know, just like taking off my life coach hat taken off my life coach jacket, like taking out my taking off my life coach. Like all my things, I’m like London tools down. You are here to have fun with your friends. This is just a moment to observe and to learn and to use it as a story and a teaching tool. It was just like, Oh my gosh. After that, I was like, Oh my gosh. And even my friends were like, Yeah, that was a lot, you know, we might have our own things that we’re working on, but like that was a lot. She was throwing it on thick that things were going to be just absolutely horrible. So it’s like, of course, she’s going to have a horrible day. She’s priming herself for a horrible day. She’s going to look for more horrible things, more horrible things are going to be in her lenses. It’s like you have on the lenses that are just looking for that. So if you wake up and say, Hey, thank you, thank you, thank you, this day is going to be an amazing day.
Lunden Souza: [00:17:12] I’m excited for all the blessings that are coming my way. I’m excited because I’m a magnet for miracles and things are always going in my favor and I am alive and there’s abundance coming to me like, you’re going to just like, look at things differently straight up, OK, straight up. And so I think my biggest challenge from this or my biggest thing, I want you guys to take away from this and I challenge you to do is choose one word. Choose one word or phrase that you say regularly that by listening to this podcast and thinking about it, you’re like, That’s the one, that’s the one, that’s the one that I just say regularly, I need to nip it in the bud and I’m going to choose a different word to replace it. And trust me, you’re going to say that word a lot. You’re going to go back. I’m so busy. I’m so I’m full. You know, I’m just like, I was, so I had to go back and forth. You have to like, yank your own collar. Like if in the dog analogy. And I only say the dog analogy because we have a puppy here in the house that I live in. And we’re just all in the process of learning his model of the world and figuring out how to make him safe and trained and feel good and, you know, mind but still be, you know, and it’s like, so I think of that, it’s like, we’re really being consistent and persistent.
Lunden Souza: [00:18:19] And then, of course, he still has mistakes and goes the bathroom in the house. Or, you know, we have to remind him, you know, just like different things, it’s like you have those moments where you like. Shit on the ground and have to clean it up. But for real, you know, you have those slip up moments, you have those slip up moments, regardless of when you decide to change your thoughts, regardless of when you decide to change things, and that every time you catch it and switch it, that’s like your brain doing a bicep curl, right? Every time you catch that thought and flip it. Think of your brain just doing like the deadlift and like PR, like Bam, you know, like that is building that strength, that resilience, you know, and kind of building those habits and also even removing some of those old pathways. Old words, things you don’t want to say. Change your words, change your world. Take out the old words, take out the old phrases, the old stories, the old records, you know, and put in new ones that are very cohesive or like. They mesh well with how you say you want to live your goals, right? Very, very important that there’s congruence there. That’s the word I was looking for congruence, congruence with how you talk and how you say you want to show up in the world.
Lunden Souza: [00:19:27] Ok, so what’s your word? What’s the one you’re going to reframe? I want to hear all about it. Feel free to send me a DM on social media. You can find me anywhere, especially Instagram, at life like London. Or you can hit reply to any of my emails that I send to you. So if you’re on my newsletter list, any of the emails I send just hit reply. Let me know what your word is, any aha moments from the podcast, and if you’re not on my email list, then you need to be so you can go to Life-like London dot com and right there you’ll see my free mindset and work out calendar and you’ll just put your email in there. I’ll send you a calendar every month with little nuggets that you can do throughout the month. And then you’ll also be on my email list so you can hit reply to any of those emails and say, Hey, London, my word is, and here’s what I’m choosing to reframe it as, and here’s how it’s changed my world. I want to hear from you. And yeah, you’re amazing. Keep showing up. Keep doing the work. It’s it’s never ending. It’s never ending. We’re always going to talk about this. We’re going to revisit how your words change your world. They’ll be new stories. They’ll be new points. I’ll bring in here that’ll help evolve this coaching to meet you right where you are. But let me know your aha moments and keep on showing up.
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