The word “no” is said in many different languages. 2 letters. 1 syllable. 1 sentence. You do not have to explain yourself if something inside of you is telling you it’s time to set a boundary without need to explain….just, “no.” Lunden shares some experiences in her life when “no” was really the only option if she wasn’t going to continue to waste her energy.
EPISODE #66 No is a complete sentence
Lunden Souza: [00:00:01] Welcome to Self Love & Sweat THE PODCAST, The Place Where You’ll get inspired to live your life unapologetically, embrace your perfect imperfections, break down barriers and do what sets your soul on fire. I’m your host, Lunden Souza. Hey, friend, it’s me, Lunden Souza, online lifestyle transformation coach. I help people all over the world just like you who know they are meant for more. Get their mind right and their body tight and go from crazy
Lunden Souza: [00:00:35] Busy to crazy happy. And hey, if it’s our first time meeting, welcome. So happy to have you.
Lunden Souza: [00:00:42] And if you’ve been with us for a while, it’s so great that you’re here too. I’m really excited to share this episode of the Self-love and Sweat podcast with you.
Lunden Souza: [00:01:04] Hey, I want to tell you quickly about two ways that you can get connected beyond the podcast to up level your health, your life, your fitness, reach your goals, but also support the podcast as well. So the first option is our self-love and sweat. Monthly members only meet up. We meet up on the last Saturday of the month on Zoom for 90 minutes to cover some important topics to answer your questions and then to also do a workout together. It’s a great way to have that support, have that accountability, get supercharged and get reminded that there are other people all over the world on this journey of self-love and sweat, and you don’t have to do it alone. You can join your first month for only a dollar using code self-love one at checkout, and then it’s twenty seven dollars a month after that. So you go to Life-like London forward slash monthly. Use the code self-love one at checkout to try us out. Test it out for only a dollar for your first month, and then you can be on board to listen to the podcast, join up on the meetups and just really feel like you’re connected and thriving on this journey to reach your goals. The second option is our strong at home for women eight week dumbbell only workout plan. We have women all over the world getting stronger from the inside out right at home, right? So we’re ready to take action to get stronger despite the circumstances of the world, and we know that we’re not about to do that alone. So embark on this eight week journey with us.
Lunden Souza: [00:02:34] You can go to Life-like London forward slash strong at home, you can pick up your eight week plan. And the exciting thing is that every eight weeks we open it up myself and my co coach for VIP all access coaching with us. So not only do you get the plan, but you get Zoom fireside chats with us. You get an exclusive way to chat with us any time so you can ask your questions, share your progress. And we’re always continuing to stay connected and motivate and inspire each other on our journey to get stronger, no matter what that means for us. So if you know that you’re meant for more, you’re ready to get stronger from the inside out and you’re just like, Yes, I need a plan and some structure. Something to tell me what to do. I know I’m ready, but I need that coaching. I can’t do it alone. We are here for you. You can go to Life-like London forward slash strong at home, pick up the plan. Figure out when our next VIP all access registration is opening so you can get that support and guidance. And the third thing I said there was two, but the third thing is you can do both. You can join us for those monthly meet ups, you can be there for the eight week programme. You know, this coaching and this support is here for you. We want to get you real results that last so you never have to start over again. And so you guys are awesome. Enjoy this episode! Get connected self-love and sweat, friends.
Lunden Souza: [00:03:52] Today we are talking about no one word, two letters, one syllable and also a complete sentence. And I’m super excited to talk about this topic today on the podcast because I feel like the word no or the complete sentence. No has been revealing itself to me in new ways, especially recently. So I think that it’s cool to see those memes or those quotes on social media that say no means no or no is a complete sentence. But I love having conversations about and sharing stories about times when no has played a role in our life. And maybe we’ve shot out a no that was empowering. Like, no, and maybe it’s a no. That sounds more like a question than a statement. Like, no. And then, you know, maybe we’ve had a real struggle saying no, OK. And I think that those stories are so much juicier and just so much better and so much more transformative than memes telling us that no means no and no is a complete sentence, right? Great reminder. Great reminder, absolutely. But I love sharing stories and experiences as reminders, even more so that’s what I’m going to share with you guys today. Recently, I’ve been working on with my life coach. I have a life in NLP coach I’ve been working with for over five years, but over the last few months we’ve been working on something I’ve been wanting to work on for a while, like something I really wanted to dive into. And I just felt like that was the perfect time.
Lunden Souza: [00:05:28] And that is my core values, my ten core values that represent how I want to show up in this world as the woman I want to be, that I am, that I am becoming daily and I’ve been working really hard on those in the sense that I’ve been putting a lot of time in. I’ve been meditating and praying about them and reading them and kind of testing them out to see like these core values are my boundaries. I’m setting up for my life and they’re going to hold weight in my decisions and help guide me to be the person that I want to be. And so I’ve had a an amazing time work. On these, to be honest, it’s so empowering, it’s so powerful in your life. It’s like these official boundaries and rules for your life that help you make decisions that you created. And somehow this creation process has made me respect them a ton. So anyways, when it comes to saying no through this process, I’ve had a lot of fun having conversations with my coaches or maybe peers or colleagues that I feel like I could have these types of conversations with where I’ve been like, Hey, no, that doesn’t work for me because one of my core values is to make sure that I am showing up on time ready and that I’m not wasting my time or the other person’s time. And I feel like if I say yes to this, I’m not going to be able to execute to the best of my ability, and I’m not going to be able to be in alignment with this core value, which is time I’m going to be stretched too thin.
Lunden Souza: [00:07:02] And it’s not how I want to feel, right? I’ve been loving having those conversations, or sometimes a lot of the times people want to hang out to work out. And so sometimes I have to say, Hey, you know, one of my core values is I want to be physically strong and that comes with resting my body. I can only be as strong as I recover. So right now, it’s not the right time for me to be doing a hike on the weekend. I need to be like chillin and stretching and getting good sleep and recovering or whatever, right? So I’ve really been enjoying having those conversations surrounding saying no and letting those core values come to light and be in to come to life, if you will, and kind of let that guide my decisions. And I think it’s cool when you have great people in your life that are also doing the work and wanting to show up to better themselves and just better their connection with themselves and with other people and bring their purpose to the world. I feel like those types of conversations with those types of people have been super fulfilling and really, really awesome in my life. I just love it. But most recently, I was having a conversation with somebody and I felt like, OK, I have the words to explain why I’m saying no to you and to why I just don’t think that moving forward is a good idea.
Lunden Souza: [00:08:19] And it was really interesting because I felt like, OK, I can explain this. I feel like it’s respectful in my opinion, or, let’s say, honest and respectful I can. I can give this truth in a way that’s honest and respectful, and I’m just going to share that I’m not going to just be like, Nope, I kind of want to explain myself a little bit, and I want to, yeah, explain myself a little bit. I’m not sure there’s another way to put that there. So anyways, after I did that, it became very clear to me that this person, just like, wasn’t understanding what I was trying to explain. It was like, like completely just like left field. And in that case, no, just stood alone as a complete sentence because it absolutely had to, right? It was like, OK, this is wasting too much energy. Your thumbs are working too much. I was like, Should I send a text? Should I do an audio message? Like, How can I explain this better? I don’t really feel like I’m being very ambiguous. I feel like I’m being very clear and very direct. But yeah, maybe whatever. So anyways, and that’s in that situation, I realized, OK, it’s much more energy draining. I’m allowing that to drain my energy by trying to figure out how to explain this better.
Lunden Souza: [00:09:35] And I really understood in that moment, OK, yeah, no. Is a complete sentence like as a tool, you know, it’s like sometimes people are just not going to get it right. Or sometimes, hey, even sometimes, maybe you don’t feel like you have the words to explain it, yet you’re still trying to process that out yourself. But you know, in this moment, no is the right answer, right? I just thought of that too, because there’s moments where it’s just like, no is a complete sentence as a tool, not just for people who are not getting it. Or you’re like, Hello, how do you how do I say this? One hundred more ways? Ok, no. Or it’s like, Hey, I’ve been really processing something, and right now I’m in it. And right now, no. Now, and that can be something to you know, I’m sure we’ve seen both of both of those situations happen in our lives, and I think it’s it’s just, yeah, it’s really empowering to be able to say no and then explain it with conviction that makes you feel rooted in your core values with people who believe in you. But some people, you just got to be like, think, no, no, no. And I feel like, Yeah, we say no in English, no in Spanish, no in Italy. Like, there are so many languages that say, no, I feel like no. Sometimes, right? And I kind of chuckle about it as well because, yeah, you want to, you know, you want to say you want to just you want your yeses to be like, Hell, yeah, like all.
Lunden Souza: [00:11:13] Yeah, I’m all in that. I’m all up in that, right? So when you say those no’s, sometimes we might feel for so many different reasons, right? No. Might feel uncomfortable. But just know that when you’re saying some of those no’s, in fact, when you’re saying all of those no’s and you’re removing that from your plate, you’re making room for more yeses or more time, more opportunities to say yes to yourself and just have that buffer time and be more relaxed or whatever that might look like, you know? Know it is such a powerful word. You know, I want my I don’t know how you feel, and that’s why I love our conversations in the DM. So feel free to hit me in the DMs @lifelikelunden. But it’s like when I say yes to something I want someone to know, like, I’m going to be there, I’m going to be present, I’m going to show up, I’m going to deliver on time, I’m going to be focused on you or like what we’re doing. I’m going to have fun. I’m going to be excited about it. And when I say no, it’s for good reason because I don’t want to do it. It doesn’t make sense and I’m doing my best with the tools that I have, but like knows what I got right now and I’m loving it.
Lunden Souza: [00:12:27] So keeping know in your toolbox is super major and think of it as well. I’m making room for more yeses. For more meaningful yeses. For more yeses that I want to bring into my life. So important. So important. I don’t know what things you need to say no to in your life right now. In fact, I’m sure that there are things that are working to present themselves to me that I need to be saying no to in my life. And that might be, you know, to some of the crappy self-talk and things that might be creeping up in my mind. It might be no to trying to do more things. So we’re making more time for family or for new opportunities. Whatever that might be. I think someone needs to hear it right now, and probably I know I did a few weeks ago, and I know I will moving forward, but there’s something out there that we, we we need to say no to, and sometimes they feel like we prolong that a little bit, right? We prolong that. No, and it just like lingers and we know we need to have that conversation when really it’s just like you could from the beginning. No. And I think the more that we practice saying no, the more comfortable it gets rolling off the tongue, the more comfortable we get in our bodies owning it, the more it sounds like a statement and less like a question.
Lunden Souza: [00:13:52] And. Yeah, that’s just the way I’ve kind of experienced it in my life and in the lives of my clients and just really understanding people’s perception of No. And seeing from both ends where, you know, know how to full tilt and explanation and no is a complete sentence. And then also looking at it at like, OK, am I taking other people’s nose like when people are saying, no, am I respecting that, you know? And ah, my my nose holding weight just as much as my yeses? And are the people that are coming into my life able to say no to me or no to certain situations, and we’re still able to have a good relationship. And I know that there yes is mean weight just like my yes mean weight, you know? And that’s really what I think about when it comes to saying no is like, you’re making room for more yeses. Your practicing, saying no and getting empowered and confident in that. You’re giving other people permission to say no to you and looking at how you’re reacting to that too. And I just think all of it is really cool. So let me know how you feel saying no and what things you’re saying no to in order to make room for more abundance and more yeses. And I want to hear all about it in my DMs. You can find me on Instagram @lifelikelunden. You can also hit reply to any of the emails that I send you.
Lunden Souza: [00:15:18] So if you’re not on my email list, you can go to lifelikelunden.com/calendar and pick up your free workout in mindset calendar. It’s a cool little calendar where every day you have a quick workout or a mindset activity or a journal prompt or something to think about, like saying no something to think about. And it’s cool because you can kind of look at look to it every day for just like a little something something. And so if you pick that up, you get it for free and then you’re on my email list and you can always hit reply to any of those emails and always reply back. So even if it’s an automated one, you know, like if you sign up for the calendar, you’ll get an automatic email right away, giving you the calendar, giving you what you signed up for. Absolutely free. But then any time you reply to any of those emails, it just goes back to me like a normal email. So you can always let me know how you’re feeling, how you’re letting that no hang on your tool belt and how it’s working for you and how you’re utilizing it and how it’s making you feel. All really powerful things to think about. So no is a complete sentence, and I want to say yes, you’ll be here next time for the next episode of the podcast. But in the meantime, enjoy saying your nose respectfully and honestly and feeling good about it.
Lunden Souza: [00:16:34] Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Self Love & Sweat THE PODCAST. Hey, do me a favor! Wherever you’re listening to this podcast, give us a review. This really helps a lot and share this with a friend. I’m only one person, and with your help, we can really spread the message of self-love and sweat and change more lives all around the world. I’m Lunden Souza reminding you that you deserve a life full of passion, presence and purpose fueled by self-love and sweat. This podcast is a hit spot Austria production.