Stop Being a Positivity Hoarder: 9 Ways to Spread the Love

Note: This post was originally published on May 19, 2020 — but I wanted to add some new resources to help you spread the positive vibes because it’s SO important now more than ever 🙂

When you’re just not feeling the positive vibes yourself, give them out. It’s amazing at how much you get back when you stop hoarding and start giving!

Here’s a little quote that my friend Liz sent me via text when I was having a hard day at home. I had it as my phone background for a while. I love it and I wanted to share it with you, too.

What happens when I feel overwhelmed & stressed?

There are some days when I receive the most miraculous insights into new realms of my personality, capabilities and strengths. That’s my “poetic” way of saying that there are days when I literally want to rip my hair out and punch my fist into the wall as well as days when I am so impressed by my ability to figure things out #greatjobsouza.

We all go through it, there will always be ups and downs (like burpees!) . We are human and we have emotions that I definitely believe we have  to feel and go through to grow.

One of the things that I’ve realized about myself is that when things are mentally stressful I become a hermit and kind of seclude myself socially and prefer to spend more time at home or outside on long walks with nature. Picture me in my PJ’s in a grungy position on the couch with a permanent bitch face staring at my computer. Attractive and inviting, right? :p

Call you OUT and call you IN!

But something that really spoke to me was a birthday message I got on my 30th birthday from my friend Aubrie Pohl, which essentially said, “You have such a selfless demeanor…I learned so much about giving from you.”

I am not repeating this to “toot my own horn” but to highlight the importance of powerful people in your life who you can truly be yourself in front of and who you can trust not only to call you out on your shit, but call you IN to remind you of the spiritual gifts you have so you can wake them the f*ck up and use them. Which oddly enough was #3 of the 20 things I learned in my 20s was all about.

So I took some time to reflect and basically DECIDED that when I am feeling in a place of overwhelm and “not-enoughness” I am just going to tap into this Universal law that we get out what we put in and start giving, loving &  helping even more!

When I am selfless, I am most myself…

Additionally, I had an “aha” moment during my meditation a few days ago when the centering thought was, “When I am selfless, I am most myself.” We HAVE to give our gifts or that energy becomes stagnant, piled up and useless like the junk you see piled up on tables on the show Hoarders.

And because I am a list junky and it helps me sort out my thoughts and actions, I made a list of the ways I can show love when I am just feeling a bit “meh”.

9 Ways to Spread the Love & Positive Vibes Today #GoodVibesOnly

1. Say “I love you”

Call or write someone you love and tell them that you love them. You could even make a quick video on your phone letting them know you’re thinking about them and send that over.

2. List your blessings

Take out a piece of paper and write down you’re blessings. I know, I know – this one might feel a bit played out BUT IT WORKS. Gratitude is such a powerful way to bring in all the abundance that the universe has to offer.

3. Show love with time

Give time to someone who you know needs it even when it feels like you don’t have any left. Maybe they need advice or help with a new project. You can reach out to someone you know needs it and ask, “How can I help?!”

4. Smile!

Go for a walk and smile at everyone you walk past (You’ll end up laughing because some of the reactions you’ll get from people are quite funny). Be present, wipe off the bitch face and give your best, friendliest, most loving grin to everyone you walk passed. If your cheeks start to hurt, good job!

5. Make something homemade

Cook or bake something for your neighbor or your partner. Cooking isn’t your thing? Write a letter or make a DIY skin tightening coffee scrub for someone you know would love it.

6. Make it about someone else

Call that friend that’s always there for you and ask about THEM. No matter how much you want to vent and talk all about your problems, struggles, lack of energy, fear, frustration let them do all the talking and all the venting first.

7. Bring your A-game

Go the extra mile for a colleague or someone on your team. I mean, this should be a given at any time…but sometimes we need that reminder to buckle up and show up for those we work closely with.

8. Put the phone away & focus

Actually look at the person and LISTEN when you’re talking with them. Get off your phone and look them in the eye. There’s nothing happening on social media that cannot wait for a few minutes of present conversation.

9. Just listen

You don’t always have to have the answer to solve the problems of someone you love and not everyone needs a motivational pep talk (I had to learn that one the hard way!). Sometimes people just want to talk and holding space for them with an open ear is completely enough. This is a big one that I am working on because when someone tells me something they are going through, my go-to is immediately wanting to offer advice and guidance to fix it. Learning to back off, take a breath and listen actually provides so much more value for all parties involved. We can just be, talk and listen.

And as a final note, it’s important that we don’t EXPECT to ONLY mask the hard times with a positive smile. We have emotions, we should feel them and lean into them and use them as tools and signals. Our emotions are part of what makes us human! But sorry Negative Nancy & Debby Downer, I am NOT trying to marinade in a pool of negativity with you. And you shouldn’t either…There are people in this world who need our gifts to come alive!